WISE WORDS by Lynda Wise
37 Rockland Dr
Toronto, Ontario
M2M 2Y8
Lynda Wise, B.Sc., C.P.C.C..   
Personal Coach
Weight Loss and Wellness Coach
416-225-3535
lyndawise@yahoo.com
http://www.wisecoaching.ca
February 2006
Issue 10

Welcome!   

What's in it for you?   A connection, some challenges, a few questions to encourage you to simply reflect about how you live your life versus how you want to live your life.   Feel free to share the answers with me:  I'd love to hear from you.   It's an opportunity to focus on where you'd like to change and grow.

IN THIS ISSUE:  
  1. PERSONAL LIFE COACHING:  You don't have to be a very big person to carry a big grudge.  
  2. IF YOU DON'T LOOK AFTER YOURSELF WHO WILL?   What does looking after yourself mean?
  3. FOOD FOR THOUGHT AND THOUGHTS ON FOOD.   More snacks:  readers' suggestions and more
  4. THOUGHTS FROM MY SWING:   What lights you up?  

1:  "YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A VERY BIG PERSON TO CARRY A BIG GRUDGE".

I recently came across this great quote - unfortunately, no author.   It got me thinking about grudges and the energy they zap.   Let's call the bearer of the grudge "the owner" and the focus of the grudge "the wrong doer".   So, every time the owner thinks of the wrong doer or the situation surrounding the source of the conflict, they're likely to feel anger, frustration, incompletion, distraction and a host of other negative, draining emotions.   I question what if any are the benefits of not letting go.   The wrong doer goes free while the owner is held hostage by his/her own thoughts.  
Now suppose that one were to admit that the grudge was draining energy and serving no purpose, then how does one let go of such a thing?   I don't believe that a single solution exists but here are a few ideas.  
  1. Owner approaches wrong doer in an amiable way, looking for clarity, apology, understanding - anything which will resolve the situation.   A direct contact which allows for the wrong doer to be really heard could result in an entirely new perspective.
  2. Owner can facilitate a virtual meeting with the wrong doer, with the owner creating possible explanations for what happened.  The focus is on letting go.   Trying to see the other side often opens one's mind to new possibilities.  
  3. Owner journals his/her heart out!   Writing down all of his/her thoughts can lead to satisfaction and release, especially if journaling is about the futility of a situation.  Might take a few journal entries - but getting it all out is liberating.  
  4. Owner finds a great listener, a respected cohort or friend and spills!   Just talking can be cleansing and hearing a third party's opinions can also hugely affect perspective.
Might you have something that it's time to let go of?   Feel free to let me know how it goes (forever I hope).  If your life feels like it's sprinkled with grudges and frequented by negatives, working with a coach can create insights and a sense of calm.   The individual who is liberally critical of others can often benefit by questioning acceptance of self.

2:  WHAT DOES LOOKING AFTER YOURSELF MEAN?  

Each of us has unique needs when it comes to self care.   Have you ever really asked yourself what it means for you?   In case you'd like to take a conscious peek, here are a few places to look.  
Physical health:  eating habits, adequate exercise, cleanliness, regular check ups, tending to minor injuries and weaknesses before they become major
Mental Health:  getting enough sleep, having a balance of work and play, section 1 above, seeking professional support when needed i.e.  psychiatrist, psychologist, psychotherapist or coach
Emotional Health:  acknowledging emotions, dealing with them - not denying them, deal with your stressors
Social Health:  connecting with family and or friends regularly, having individuals nearby with whom you can share your challenges
Occupational Health:  being respected and appreciated, being paid according to your value, wanting to go to work each day
Spiritual Health:  meditation and or prayer, filling your time with meaningful activities (please see section 4 below)

3:  MORE SNACKS:  READERS' SUGGESTIONS AND MORE

Last month I asked for your favourite healthy snack - weighing in at less than 150 calories.  Here are a few of the suggestions that readers offered:  
  • a hard boiled omega 3 egg - cut in half lengthwise (Marg insists that it tastes better this way!  Try it!)
  • Very low fat or fat free yoghurt with an extra 1/2 c.  of blueberries.
  • 3/4 cup of sugar free cereal (read the package for exact calorie count - Special K is a good bet) with 3/4 c.  1% milk.  
Alternatives to these healthy choices are the fairly recent '100 calorie snacks' in varieties such as Chips Ahoy, Oreos, Cheez-its, Sandies Shortbread, etc.   As advertised they are 100 calories and low in fat.   This makes them a viable option if you really need a treat and don't want to totally blow the calorie budget..   But, they offer no protein and a not-insignificant, approximately 20 grams of carbs.  Read labels for the whole wheat/complex carbohydrate components, since the simple carbs are the ones that spike your blood sugar and stimulate your appetite - the last thing you really need!  Remember that the protein content of a snack is what sustains you until your next meal.  Not sure if this is good news or bad news but I haven't yet seen these in Canadian grocery stores.   Please let me know if you have.

12 Week Weight Loss Teleclass:  Starting again in April.   You could feel better by this summer!

4:  WHAT LIGHTS YOU UP?
I feel very fortunate to be a Life Coach.   Being even a small part of someone's 'aha' moments brings significant rewards.  
In order to expand 'feeling fortunate' to the rest of my life, I try to occupy my free time with some activities that light me up.  
These hobbies truly contribute to my quality of life.   I'm not necessarily talking about serious stuff - this is pure pleasure.  
So, here I go confessing.   First, I love playing Scrabble.   Of course I'd rather do well, but win or lose, I have a great time.   And I'm insatiable!   Finish one match, start the next and never get enough.   Do you think there's such a thing as a healthy addiction?   I play with friends, at a Scrabble club, in local tournaments or at national competitions and never get enough!   It's frustrating at times but definitely a 10 on a 1 to 10 rating for pleasure.  
Then there's tennis.   It is my most non-painful/pleasurable way to get exercise.   It is genuine fun.  Time flies. Competition is seriously friendly:  ironically my competitors and I often forget the score.  A successful shot down the line or cross court feels amazing.   I feel so good when I've finished the game.   I would definitely play even if it wasn't called exercise.  
So here are some things for you to think about:  how consciously do you fill your free time with satisfying activities?   What would you like to be doing that simply hasn't happened?   What steps can you take to create activities in your spare time that really light you up?   It would be great to read your answers at lyndawise@yahoo.com.


To arrange for a complimentary coaching call,
an interactive coaching workshop,
or a speaker for a meeting or a conference,
contact Lynda Wise at Wise Coaching
416-225-3535 or lyndawise@yahoo.com
http://www.wisecoaching.ca

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Wise Coaching | 37 Rockland Dr.   | Toronto | Ontario | M2M 2Y8 | Canada